5 Things You NEED to Learn in Your 20s

So, you’re in your 20s, full of ambition, but you have questions.

You have big dreams, but you don’t exactly know where to start.

In so many ways, you’re establishing the foundation for your life that you will live with for the rest of your life.

It’s your first decade as an adult.

So much can go right, and so much can go wrong.

You can either maximize it or squander it.

The fact that you’re reading this is a good sign that you’re committed to getting it right.

I’m in my 30s now.

When I think back to my twenties, there are some things I wish I had done differently, and others I'm SO glad I did.

Today, I want to talk about the five pillars you need to establish in your 20s.

We’re talking about things that could absolutely revolutionize your life, put you ahead of 99% of people your age, and help you live the life you’ve always wanted.

 

Coming from someone who now has their dream job, dream wife, dream kids, dream community, heck… dream truck… that sounds superficial— I don’t care…

Look, I’m living the dream. I really am.

I don’t say that to flex.

I’m just genuinely thankful, and it breaks my heart when I see people who never get to experience that.

Now, am I saying my life is perfect? No!

Have I accomplished everything I hope to achieve one day? No!

But I have the life I always wanted.

I’m very thankful.

And much of that has to do with the decision I made in my twenties.

And here’s the thing…

I sincerely want the same for YOU.

I do.

If you’re in your twenties or younger, trust me, you won’t want to miss this, because these lessons could redefine YOUR journey and set YOU on a path to success.

And be sure to dial in until the end, because I’m going to be 100% honest and shoot straight with you.

Okay, let’s dive in!

We’re going to go fast and furious.

#1 EDUCATION

I have a lot of Gen Zers on the team that I lead.

I’ve sat down with countless of them over the years to help them navigate decisions about education.

It’s incredible to me how many times people screw this season of their life up.

I don’t want you to fumble the ball here.

Getting your education wrong can seriously harm your future.

On the flip side… Get this right, and you can be lightyears ahead of everyone else.

So, please lock in and pay attention to this.

It’s so important.

You need to treat your education with respect.

What do I mean by that?

Two things: Respect the VALUE of education and respect the PITFALLS of it.

You do not want to come out of school with $150,000 in student loan debt with a degree you don’t even like or use, working a job that has nothing to do with what you went to school for, while you’re barely making $30,000 a year.

AHH!!!! That’s an absolute nightmare.

And yet I see it ALL THE TIME!

WHAT ARE WE DOING?!?

Please… For YOUR sake. Do not do this. Your future self will strangle you.

I also see a lot of people go off to college expecting to “find themselves,” but they actually end up losing themselves.

Education can lead to some pretty severe pitfalls if you aren’t careful.

On the other extreme, don’t act as if education is a waste!

As someone who earned an undergraduate degree and went on to earn a master's degree, I’m a huge fan of education.

It can have enormous value in your life.

If you do it right.

Education isn’t just about learning.

It’s about building your capacity as a human being.

The best investment you could EVER make isn’t financial.

The best investment you can make is in yourself.

That investment outperforms every time.

The key for you is to respect the educational season of your life.

It needs high priority.

You need to do your research.

You need to crunch the numbers.

You need a plan.

You need a vision.

You need to think about the potential outcomes of your decisions five, ten, and twenty years from now.

Don’t treat your education like a college party.

Don’t be casual or passive.

Don’t get a degree just to get a degree.

Trust me… You will get your butt handed to you.

For your sake… Respect the season.

Now, is there one specific education path you MUST follow?

Is there one RIGHT way to do it?

No, I’ve seen students successfully handle their education in a multitude of different ways.

I’ve seen students who have zero financial help do better than those who have all the financial help in the world.

I’ve seen students who don’t know what they want to do as a career yet make better decisions than those who think they do.

You may have mentors who want to help you think through college, or you may have absolutely nobody in your corner.

It’s really not about money or vocational focus.

It’s really not about whether you should take out student loans or not.

It’s about respecting the season of education by doing your research, having a strategy, thinking ahead, and following through.

Everyone’s situation and context are different.

However, every success story that I’ve ever seen has been a direct result of a thoughtfully planned-out strategy.

They did their research.

They put in the work.

They had forward thinking.

They read all the fine print.

They treated their education with respect.

If you respect it, you can avoid the most common pitfalls and get the most value from your education.

I’ll pin a comment below with a few tips on handling education that I’ve seen a lot of people use to get ahead.

It doesn’t apply to everyone, but it might help you.

Feel free to ask me any follow-up questions based on your context, or even shoot me a DM on Instagram.

I’ll do whatever I can to help you sort things out.

And remember…

Here’s where my leadership hat comes out…

Leaders are learners.

Your education doesn’t start or end in a university.

Your education should be a lifestyle of learning that never ends and includes all facets of learning.

The moment you stop learning is the moment you become irrelevant.

So, don’t ever stop learning.

Develop a love for it.

Bottom-line.

Education matters.

Respect it.

Okay, enough on that.

#2 MONEY

Imagine this…

You’re debt-free.

You have $10,000 in savings.

Your retirement is cared for.

You have disposable income to save for your next goal, have fun, and live your life.

And you can pursue any vocation you want without worrying about how much money you’ll make because you’re already on your way to enormous wealth.

That’s financial peace.

Did you know that if you start investing at age 20, $50 a month, and retire at age 67, and earn an average of 12% on your investments (which is what I average), you’d have over $1.3 million.

Just $50 a month.

However, if you wait and start at age 30, you’d only get to about $400,000.

Wait until age 40, and you can’t even break $200,000.

That’s the power of compound interest.

That’s the power of managing your money!

That’s the power of starting young!

I can certainly show you how to become wealthy through money management and investing; my wife and I have invested wisely and built wealth over the years.

We learned how to manage our money early and, through that, were able to build wealth.

But wealth isn’t the primary concern I have for you.

My primary concern for you is not to let money take over your life, whether through a lack of it or an unhealthy obsession with it.

So many of the decisions we make, particularly in our 20s, are motivated by money.

For one thing, most 20-somethings don’t have any!

So, the motivation is often at its peak!

Money is often the driving force behind where you decide to live, what vocation you choose, your lifestyle, and so on…

I get it. I’ve been there.

But there's a danger to this.

Money can lead you to destinations that aren’t best for you, that aren’t right for you, that don’t fit you, that don’t get you where you ultimately want or need to be in life.

Money (or the desire for money), if you aren’t careful, can be the very thing that undermines your purpose or what truly gives you the most satisfaction.

Let me give you a thought exercise.

Let’s say I come to you and say, “Hey, I’ll pay you a salary of $10 million a year, but here’s the catch… You have to pick something that you’re passionate about, that helps other people in some way, and that you could see yourself doing for the rest of your life with immense satisfaction.”

Okay, go ahead and think of your answer.

Now, if your answer is different than whatever you’re currently pursuing, then it’s probably an indication that money is somehow managing you in a way it shouldn’t.

Look, I understand that sometimes circumstances require us to do things we don’t prefer in order to provide.

Sometimes, you have realities to face. I get that.

The point I’m trying to make is that more often than not, our money is managing us instead of us managing our money.

In other words, we don’t have a money problem; we have a money management problem.

And this problem is potentially robbing you of what you’re most passionate about.

I’ll never forget one time when I was in the Taco Bell drive-thru in my early twenties.

I went to pay for a taco, and my card was declined.

We’re talking about the Taco Bell value menu!

That was my financial rock bottom.

My money was managing me in that season, and I needed to learn how to flip the script and manage my money to get my life back.

So, that’s precisely what I did.

I took Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University, and everything changed.

I fell in love with budgeting and investing.

Once I learned how to manage my money. It felt like I got my life back, and I was able to make wise decisions about my future free from the urgency or pressure of money.

In fact, my vision for my life really expanded.

I saw a greater opportunity than I did before I learned how to manage money.

Now, ten years later, money isn’t a driving force.

It doesn’t really motivate me.

Purpose, impact, passion… Those are the things that motivate me.

I’m much more concerned with making a bigger difference in the world than I am with a fatter paycheck.

Look, if you’re in a bad financial place, you need to go to work.

Check out Ramsey Solutions.

That’s not an affiliate plug, by the way.

It’s just a genuine recommendation of something that really changed everything for me.

It’s time for you to stop playing games and take money management seriously.

Your future self will thank you.

I’d be happy to help in any way I can.

#3 CAREER

Let me show you a diagram.

This diagram is based on the Hedgehog Concept taught by Jim Collins.

We have three circles that form a Venn diagram, meaning they overlap.

In the first circle, we have “passion.”

These are the things that you really care about, that you enjoy, that you could spend every day of your life doing because it brings you so much satisfaction.

Your passions are usually the things you enjoy researching, spending time practicing, and would even enjoy attending a conference or class for.

The second circle is “talent.”

Your talents are things you’re naturally good at. Whether you enjoy it or not, your talents come easily to you. You don’t really have to work hard to be good at them.

These are things people may point out to you.

If you can align your passion and talent, you’ve got a powerful combination.

That alone will unleash you to do great things.

But we have one more circle.

“Values.”

Values are the principles, beliefs, or ideals that are important to you.

Your values will tell you where to channel your passion and talent.

So, let's put it all together.

Your passion can tell you what to do, your talents can inform how you do it, and your values tell you where to do it.

That’s about the best career advice I’ve ever heard.

If you follow this framework, I guarantee that you will discover your ideal vocation.

But you know what most people do?

They either focus solely on their passions, end up struggling, and either don’t have the talent to succeed or lose their drive because it's not aligned with their values.

Or they focus only on their talent and absolutely hate the work they do.

Or they focus solely on their values and never really build a career at all.

And you know what else people do?

They forsake their passions, talents, and values altogether and base their entire career path on making as much money as possible.

Ugh.

Please don’t do that.

Because if you don’t have passion, talent, or values that align with the career you pick, you won’t MAKE ANY MONEY!

Trust me.

You’ll suck at it, you’ll eventually burn out, and you’ll be miserable the whole time because you don’t even have a dollar to show for it.

That’s why in the last point I emphasized not being ultimately motivated by money.

Instead, if you pick a career that satisfies your passion, talent, and values.

You’re going to excel at it, stick with it, and I guarantee money will take care of itself.

Particularly, if you have the management side down, as we discussed.

Now, keep in mind, all of these factors can change over time.

Your passions change, you discover new talents, and your values mature over time.

That’s okay.

Let your career grow with that.

What I do now looks a lot different than what I did when I first started my vocation, and I’m sure it’ll look different ten years from now.

What you do at the start may not necessarily be what you do long-term.

That’s normal.

Alright, let’s move on to the next category.

#4 RELATIONSHIPS

Some of the best and worst decisions you can make in your twenties have to do with relationships.

The friends you surround yourself with.

The mentors you do or do not have.

The people you date.

The partner you might choose to marry.

This is also the time when you tend to identify issues that your parents had or have.

There’s a lot going on relationally in your twenties.

First, you need to understand that healthy relationships matter.

An article published by the American Psychological Association found that, “People with no friends or poor-quality friendships are twice as likely to die prematurely, according to Holt-Lunstad’s meta-analysis of more than 308,000 people—a risk factor even greater than the effects of smoking 20 cigarettes per day.”

Wow.

Healthy relationships matter.

Second, your relationships will either help or hinder you in becoming the person you’d like to become.

There’s a common belief that “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Sometimes it’s stated as, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.”

I’ve heard it a thousand other ways.

What they’re all getting at is the need to evaluate your social circle.

Are your relationships positive?

Do they influence your life in healthy and wholesome ways?

Bad relationships can absolutely kill you in your twenties.

Be selective.

Seek out mentors who are where you want to be and let them speak into you.

Next, who you pick as your significant partner might be the most critical decision you ever make in your twenties.

Be so careful.

I’ve seen people get married who have everything going right, but the marriage is so toxic that it slowly and steadily destroys their lives.

If you pick a partner based on attraction, status, or any surface-level reason alone.

You are setting yourself up for heartache, divorce, or worse.

You need to pick a partner based on values.

For instance, I’m a man of faith.

There is no way I could have married someone who didn’t share my faith.

Thankfully, my wife shares that with me. It’s our foundation. We could’ve stopped there, and I think we would have been fine.

But there are other significant values you should probably look into.

For instance, do both of you want kids?

What kind of career or lifestyle do each of you want or expect?

Do you share the same values when it comes to money?

Financial problems are one of the leading causes of divorce. You might want to do some due diligence on that one!

Finally, I want to caution you if you’re thinking about getting married young.

This is coming from someone, mind you, who got married at 22!

That’s young!

Would I recommend that for everyone? Absolutely not.

Couples who marry at a younger age report higher divorce rates.

The reason is that the younger you are, the more you usually lack self-knowledge, self-awareness, and the ability to identify values that foster compatibility.

The person you marry should be someone with whom you can walk through life's hardest hits and hurts.

Can your relationship stand up against financial hardship, chronic sickness, high stress, or even tragic events?

Cancer diagnosis?

Life-altering injuries?

Death?

Does your relationship have the foundation to handle that kind of weight and come out the other side?

If not, you shouldn’t marry that person.

Do you know how many of my old friends who got married around the time I did are already divorced?

A lot, almost the majority of them.

Not only was that incredibly painful for them to walk through.

But it’s like they had to start their life over.

It’s awful.

This brings us to what I consider the most essential part of your twenties.

If you’ve made it this far, I implore you to finish this last section.

It’s by far the most important.

It’s the key to true success.

But I also know, it might be the category you’re the most hesitant about.

#5 FAITH

You can click off if you want… But I’m telling you. This might be your big breakthrough.

I’m a Christian.

I believe in Jesus.

Some people think that’s crazy.

I get it.

Because it is crazy.

That’s the point.

We’re talking about God.

If God is real, then he should blow our minds a little bit, don’t you think?

I’m not going to get into a big faith conversation here.

But… I do want to tell you that the most important thing you could do in this season of your life is to investigate spirituality.

The worst thing you could do is blow it off or put it off.

What if it’s real?

What if the stakes are actually life and death?

What if it really is the key to getting the most out of life?

Do you want to be figuring that out when it’s too late?

If it’s real, do you really want to spend another day rolling the dice?

Please, for your sake, do your research and make up your own mind.

I encourage you to research all faiths.

I did.

I’ve read the Quran cover to cover.

I’ve explored Hinduism and Buddhism.

I’ve looked at it all.

I keep coming back to Jesus.

Let me ask you a question.

What do you have to lose by investigating it?

Nothing.

But you have everything to gain.

You can look into it, decide it’s wrong, and move on with your life.

Or you might find that it’s everything.

Maybe it’s the one thing that has been missing from your life all this time.

I hope you explore it, for your sake.

 

BONUS ROUND

Now we come to the rapid-fire bonus round.

I have five quick tips for you that are highly practical and can be applied to all the key pillars we’ve already discussed.

These tips are like gasoline on a fire.

Apply them to your five pillars, and you’ll 100% maximize this season of your life.

TIP 1: TRACK YOUR PROGRESS

First, consider keeping a scorecard of major statistics, numbers, or results.

What you keep track of almost always improves.

Second, consider journaling.

This helps you celebrate all the little wins along your journey.

Date each entry, and you can look back and gain perspective of where you’ve come from.

Sometimes the vision of your future keeps you from enjoying the present.

You need to learn how to enjoy the growth journey rather than constantly longing for the next phase.

You don’t want to be a chronically discontent person.

You’ll be miserable.

Tracking your progress along the way can really help with that.

TIP 2: DELEGATE

There’s an old leadership maxim that says, “A person may do an immense deal of good if they do not care who gets the credit.”

Many 20-somethings chase recognition and try to do everything themselves.

What if instead, you chase progress and share the load?

I guarantee you, you’ll get farther.

And you’ll make friends along the way, rather than enemies.

TIP 3: STAY CONSISTENT

Consistency isn’t boring, it’s life-giving.

Consider reading a really good book on habit-forming if you haven’t already.

I recommend Atomic Habits by James Clear. It's brilliant.

Read it and apply it.

It’ll change everything for you.

TIP 4: LEARN HOW TO RUN AT ALL SPEEDS

In my twenties, I liked to run my engine at around 200mph.

But what I learned as I started nearing my 30s is that it’s okay to let the engine cool off in certain seasons.

In fact, if all you do is run your engine hot, then eventually you’ll burn out…

Or you’ll drive your wife crazy…

In any case… Learn how to run fast and slow depending on the needs of the season you’re in.

There’s a time for your best, and there’s a time to rest.

5: START

Start your education.

Start investing.

Start that career path.

Start investigating faith.

Start NOW.

 

I hope this served you.

Keep fighting the good fight.

I’ll see you again real soon.