Lessons from 18 Years on Stage: My Leadership Journey

Growing up, I had a crippling fear of the stage.

I had a few experiences in my early childhood that convinced me I should stay far, far away from any vocation that involves public speaking, performing, or anything that requires concentrated attention.

But for whatever reason, as much as I resisted it, my passions and giftings kept bringing me right back to the stage.

It all started when I was eight years old.

I started playing drums.

In fact, I fell in love with playing drums.

It was pretty much the only thing that I stuck with as a kid.

When I was fourteen, I played drums on stage for the first time in a band in front of hundreds of people. I was terrified… but I loved it.

When I was sixteen, I got to play on stage at an amphitheater in front of thousands of people.

I pretty much blacked out during that experience… but again… I loved it!

In high school, I tried theater for the first time, and I actually got the role of Gaston in Beauty and the Beast.

Not only did I have lines to say on stage, but I had to sing!

It nearly peed my pants every time I walked out on stage… But… I loved it.

When I turned eighteen, I started communicating on stage and began leading worship at my church.

I felt way over my head, and it was so hard… but again… I loved it.

In my early 20s, I started doing public speaking and teaching.

The first message I ever prepared was a disaster.

But I did it… and I loved it.

And now, fast forward eighteen years from when I first started, I can look back and see all that I’ve learned in that timeframe.

And while I don’t feel like an expert by any means, my heart goes out to everyone who is just starting and looking for some guidance, as well as those of you who are experienced but still wrestling with many of the pressures that come with stepping out on stage in front of people.

Today, I want to break down three things that eighteen years of leading from the stage has taught me.

#1 OVERCOME FEAR AND COMBAT ANXIETY

There are some people who don’t seem to experience any fear or anxiety when it comes to stepping out on a stage in front of people.

You may be one of those people. I’m happy for you.

I’m not one of those people.

I have always experienced fear or anxiety when it comes to the stage.

And yet, I’ve more or less overcome this challenge.

I’m literally on stage every single week now in front of thousands of people.

When I was first starting, the thought of that would have terrified me.

And while most weeks now I don’t think twice about it, you should know that to this day I can occasionally still experience pretty severe anxiety about stepping out on stage.

Maybe you struggle with this too.

If you do, I want to share a few thoughts that might help you.

First, I want to implore you not to give up before you even try.

Don’t let fear be the reason you never step onto the stage.

The only reason I ever stepped out on stage is because when I was younger, someone encouraged me, someone pushed me, and someone helped me see my potential and catch a vision for the impact I could make if I overcame my fear of the stage.

That someone was my mother.

Listen, don’t let fear stop you from making the impact you know you could make.

Step out and be confident.

Now, you may be thinking. Easier said than done.

I agree.

Let me give you my three-step process for combating fear and anxiety.

It really works.

The first step is planning.

If you walk out on stage without a solid plan, then you’ll likely make a fool of yourself.

When I say planning, I’m referring to whatever value you intend to offer.

If you’re speaking, work hard on that speech.

If you’re playing music, pick a good setlist and make it engaging.

If you’re teaching, find some stellar illustrations.

You get the picture.

Much of my anxiety can build up if I’m not sure what I’m presenting on stage is excellent.

That’s why planning matters.

A good plan brings confidence.

Second, practice.

Practice, practice, practice.

99% of any anxiety I might feel going into being on stage is generated by feeling unprepared.

Practice helps to mitigate the fear of failure.

The more I practice, the less I fear the possibility of failure.

Lastly, I pray.

You may not be a person of faith, no worries —feel free to ignore this.

However, this is my secret weapon.

I pray.

I’m a man of faith, and I depend on prayer.

For eighteen years, I have prayed before stepping out on a stage.

Every single time.

And here’s what I pray, more or less.

I thank God for the opportunity to make a difference in someone's life. I ask God for strength, I ask God to empower the gifts He has given me, and I ask Him to calm my anxieties.

If I have a team, I pray with my team.

I’ll sneak away to pray by myself.

I’ll pray all the way up to the point I walk out if I need to.

Prayer is my secret weapon.

And you know what’s interesting?

Through prayer, I’ve come to (get this) appreciate my fear and anxiety because it forces me to depend on God rather than my own strength or skill.

For me, that's a game-changer.

So, there you have it.

That’s my system.

If I plan, if I practice, and if I pray… It’s like the anxiety melts away.

It’s the only reason I’ve made it eighteen years, and it’s the only thing that will allow me to keep going.

Okay, here’s the second thing I’ve learned.

#2 BE AUTHENTIC

The best you have to offer is your most authentic self.

Don’t ever try to mimic someone else or be something you’re not.

When you’re first starting, maybe there's something to be said for mirroring what other great performers, communicators, or leaders are doing for the sake of finding what your style is.

But once you find your footing, the goal is to learn how to be yourself.

People can sense when you’re not being authentic.

Over the years, I’ve not only worked on this myself, but I’ve coached a lot of other leaders and communicators to work through this.

It’s funny how people can have a really great personality and have really articulate communication, but the moment you put them on a stage or behind a camera, they stop being themselves and turn into something completely different or disingenuous.

For years, I didn’t understand this.

But then it finally clicked for me.

The truth is, putting yourself in the public eye is an uncomfortable place to be for a lot of people.

You’re literally the center of attention, all eyes on you, inviting people to stare and critique you.

That’s by definition uncomfortable.

When we get uncomfortable, we naturally do weird things.

We fidget, stutter, or forget what our faces and hands are doing.

For whatever reason, we just stop being normal.

It’s funny, getting on a stage hasn’t become any less uncomfortable for me.

It’s just that I’ve had to learn how to remain my authentic self even when the environment isn’t comfortable.

Does that make sense?

You could say I’ve had to unlearn the bad habits I fall into when I am uncomfortable.

And we all have weird habits when we’re uncomfortable.

For instance, I have a smacking habit I’ve noticed.

Until I feel like I’ve settled in, I can tend to smack my lips without even realizing it.

It’s like a filler word.

Some people say uh, or um.

But it’s distracting, and honestly, it’s not really something I do when I’m talking with someone normally.

I’ve been on stage for eighteen years, and yet I’m still learning how to get the most authentic version of me as I can out.

But when you can do that… What you get is the best possible on-stage version of you.

Why?

Because it’s YOU.

It’s authentic.

It’s real.

That’s what people want and need.

Okay, here’s the final lesson.

#3 PERSEVERANCE

If I showed you videos of when I first started getting in front of people for music, public speaking, or teaching, you would seriously cringe.

It’s just not good.

In fact, I’m sure that ten years from now I’ll likely be cringing at this version of me now.

Like anything in life, you’ve got to start at level 1 and have the perseverance to stick with it.

People too often compare themselves to the experts before they’ve even remotely put in the same amount of reps.

The truth is, most of the “experts” who have captured the center stage have shown enormous perseverance for decades before achieving any measure of success or impact.

Michael Jackson started at the age of five in the Jackson Five band, but it wasn’t until another twenty years later that his iconic solo career finally began.

Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of the famous band Queen, first joined a band called “The Hectics” when he was twelve.

But it wasn’t until he was thirty-eight that he led what some consider to be the best concert performance of all time at Live Aid in 1985.

Martin Luther King Jr. was nineteen years old when he was ordained as a minister, but it wasn’t until he was thirty-four that he gave his famous “I Have a Dream” speech.

Winston Churchill gave his first public speech as an elected official when he was twenty-six.

It’s estimated that he delivered over 3,000 speeches during his career.

His most famous speeches weren’t delivered until he was in his mid to late sixties.

What I’ve learned is that you’re best moments will come with unwavering perseverance.

You can’t give up just because you’re not where you want to be yet.

We may not have arrived where we want to be one day as a communicator or as a leader.

But if we stay faithful, week after week, year after year, before we know it, we will reach a level we couldn't have ever dreamed we’d reach years prior.

That’s the power of perseverance.

So, if you’re dealing with fear or anxiety, consider planning better, practicing more, and praying.

The best version of you is the authentic version of you. Learn how to be yourself even when you’re uncomfortable.

And finally, reaching our full potential will never be realized unless we persevere.

Get out on that stage.

Be confident.

I can’t wait to see what kind of impact you'll make.

Keep fighting the good fight.