The 7 Steps High-Level Leaders Use to Develop Themselves

YouTube Version (If You'd Rather Watch 👉) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAPPSjhOO8w

Let’s talk about how to develop leadership.

I lot of people have no idea where to start.

Is there a special book I’m supposed to read?

Is there a certification I need?

Is there a set of skills I’m supposed to have?

Is it possible for someone to develop their leadership ability, and if so, how?

That’s what we’re going to talk about today.

We’re specifically going to unpack seven steps that you need to take to develop yourself as a leader.

These steps are 100% research driven. These are proven strategies from high-level leaders across generations and across different sectors.

I can also say that these seven steps are what prepared me for my leadership role.

I entered leadership pretty young because I learned about these things and started doing them early.

All I can say is that I’m still working this playbook because it works!

So, whatever your goals are with developing your leadership ability, I think this is going to really serve you.

And to be clear…

These seven steps are not just for aspiring leaders.

While these steps certainly launch you into leadership, they're also the exact same steps that keep you thriving in leadership.

If a leader at any point stops doing these seven things, then they'll quickly be rendered ineffective as a leader.

So, lean in close.

This is going to be an important episode!

And make sure to stick around for the last couple of steps, because even if you nail the first few, it won’t matter if you fumble at the end.

You need all of these for this to work out for you.

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WHAT IS LEADERSHIP?

We’ve got to start by briefly clarifying what leadership really is.

Because a lot of people get confused about this.

A leader is not the same thing as a boss, manager, or supervisor.

A leader is not a politician, a coach, or a mentor.

A leader isn’t even the one who necessarily has authority or makes the rules.

A leader is someone who has influence.

You’ve got to understand that before you can ever understand how to develop yourself as a leader.

Developing leadership is all about developing influence.

That’s why there are so many different leadership styles.

It’s because you can gain influence in a lot of different ways.

Now, are managerial, coaching, or political roles usually filled by individuals with leadership skills?

Yes.

Are leaders usually the ones who are given more authority?

Yes.

Are leaders usually paid more?

Are leaders usually more respected?

Do leaders usually have more opportunities?

Yes, yes, and yes.

But that’s only because of influence.

That’s what it’s all about.

The reason so many people don’t know how to develop their leadership ability is that they start with a false understanding of what leadership really is.

It's not power, it’s not authority; it's influence.

You got that?

Okay, then let’s turn now to our 7 steps.

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STEP 1: SELF-DISCOVERY

I can’t even begin to tell you how important this is for so many reasons.

First of all, get all the hippie-dippie sappy stuff out of your head.

When I say self-discovery, I’m just talking about understanding how you’re wired up as a person.

If you really want to develop yourself as a leader, you need to start by discovering who you are in order to build self-awareness.

You’ve got to reflect on questions like:

What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are your natural skills?

What are your core values and beliefs? What is your worldview?

What is your personality like? Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

How do you think? Do you internalize or externalize?

How do people feel when you’re around them?

Or let’s go even deeper…

How do your past experiences in life impact who you are and how you think today?

If you don’t have some basic self-awareness, then you’ll never be able to lead people.

And here’s why…

Self-awareness is the ability to understand how everything that makes you YOU influences you and others around you.

In other words, it’s all about understanding YOUR unique influence.

Do you see how important this is?

There are three reasons why this is important.

First, you need to understand what you’re passionate about.

Not only does this inform where you channel your leadership energy, but it also fuels your leadership.

If leadership is all about influence, then a leader’s passion is all about how intense that influence is.

The second reason self-discovery is so important is that it informs how you lead.

I have a buddy on my team that I lead who is a phenomenal leader.

Not too long ago, he asked me if he was being too much of the “funny guy” in the office and if it was undermining his leadership role at all.

And I remember I told him, “Are you kidding me? That’s what makes you such a great leader!”

His sense of humor, quick wit, and ability to make people laugh were among the things that made him so winsome.

Whether he realized it or not, it was one of the ways he influenced people.

This is why you need to understand who you are, because it informs how you lead.

I’m sure you’ve heard people talk about leadership styles. People often get confused by that because it feels like they’re trying to fit into a mold.

Well, maybe you need to stop looking for what your “leadership style” is and focus more on your “influence style.”

Are you funny? Are you smart? Are you empathetic?

Your “leadership style” is you.

You realize that, right?

There’s not a specific leadership style that you necessarily fit into perfectly because you’re intrinsically unique.

If you’re looking for resources on this, I put together a free leadership resource list that you can download.

There’s an entire section on self-discovery, including personality assessments, books, and other tools.

I’ll put a link below for that.

But there’s a third reason why self-discovery is so important.

Understanding who you are and how you’re wired means you have a better grasp of your shortcomings.

This is where we come to step two.

STEP 2: ADOPT A GROWTH MINDSET

I’ve never seen anyone in leadership who doesn’t have a growth mindset of some kind.

Meaning, the drive to constantly learn and improve.

Whether it’s reading books, attending workshops, or taking online courses, leaders are learners.

Now, the interesting thing is that the reverse isn’t always true.

Have you ever thought about that?

You may have heard the old mantra that “Readers are leaders.”

Wrong.

There are plenty of readers who are not leaders.

There are plenty of learners who are not leaders.

Why is that?

Well, remember that leadership isn’t about being smart, having more information, or having a bunch of degrees.

It’s about influence.

It’s not necessarily about learning for a leader.

It’s about a growth mindset.

And yes, learning is a part of that, but it’s more than that.

It’s about seeing the potential in someone or something.

It’s about the love for seeing things grow.

It’s about the joy of discovering something new.

It’s about the thrill of the hunt.

The pursuit of something is often the best part for a leader.

Now, the reason this is so relevant to leadership is that a lot of people want the results that growth-minded people obtain.

They admire the commitment, the discipline, the success…

What does that do?

It creates influence.

This is why a growth-mindset is such a critical tool for leaders.

A growth mindset alone can set you up to become a leader.

But here’s the thing: you won’t develop into a truly great leader unless we keep going.

This brings us to step three.

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STEP 3: PRIORITIZE PEOPLE

Leaders don’t lead businesses, teams, or groups.

Leaders lead people, and people make up businesses, teams, and groups.

This is critical to understand because this step is where an individual either reaches escape velocity as a leader or stays stuck forever.

Transitioning from an average learner to a leader has everything to do with how you deal with people.

Leaders master soft skills.

If you’re unfamiliar with hard vs. soft skills, hard skills are teachable, measurable technical abilities acquired through education or training (e.g., coding, accounting, machinery operation).

Soft skills, on the other hand, are interpersonal and behavioral traits that define how you work (e.g., communication, teamwork, empathy).

Both hard and soft skills are critical, but leaders prioritize the soft skills because they prioritize people.

Now, while there are countless soft skills we could talk about, there are three that come to mind that I would recommend you put the most heat on.

Communication, emotional intelligence, and conflict resolution.

We obviously don’t have time to dive into each of these topics in depth, but I’ve done episodes in the past that you can look at.

You can also check out that free leadership resource list, which has recommended resources on these topics as well.

Okay, let’s look at step four.

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STEP 4: START YOUR 10,000 HOURS

The 10,000-hour rule, popularized by Malcolm Gladwell in Outliers, suggests that roughly 10,000 hours of deliberate practice are required to achieve mastery in any complex skill.

You can’t skip or replace raw experience.

You’ve got to get leadership reps to develop your leadership.

Now, what do you do if you’re not currently in a leadership role?

How do you get reps?

Let me propose a simple principle that I call the “Raise your hand” principle.

Until you’re in a leadership role where you can get reps, pretty much the only option you have is to volunteer.

That’s what I mean by raise your hand.

Volunteer for anything.

It could be coaching a kids' basketball team, joining your HOA, or serving at a non-profit.

Just volunteer for a role that lets you get some exposure.

If there’s not much opportunity at work, then get out in your community.

Or maybe try organizing and leading a sports team that meets weekly.

And yes, those roles might not be sexy or what you’re looking for ultimately, but that’s not the point.

It’s about exposure. It’s about the principle of being action-oriented and thinking like a leader.

Every rep counts.

So, raise your hand and start your journey of 10,000 hours.

If you’re currently in a leadership role, then you’re in a phenomenal place.

Let’s look at step five.

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STEP 5: HUMILITY

This is a critical step.

You can’t blow this one off.

I actually did an entire episode on this.

I’ll link it below, but I want to touch on this briefly because I’ve heard people talk about humility as if it’s a virtue that might hold leaders back.

But that’s so twisted and wrong.

Humility is actually the secret weapon to becoming an unstoppable leader.

So much so that I consider it one of the fundamental steps in developing your leadership.

Let me explain.

Humility in its truest definition is the accurate, honest self-assessment of one's strengths and limitations, free from arrogance, pride, or undue self-deprecation.

Humility is the keeper of everything we’ve set up in Steps 1-4.

It's needed to gain self-awareness, keep us in a growth mindset, remind us why we prioritize people, and remind us why we put in the 10,000 hours.

Now that we’re at step five, though, we need to lean into humility in an entirely different way.

At this point, you’re in leadership, putting in your 10,000 hours.

You need to cultivate a lifestyle of leadership humility in three specific ways:

First, you need to regularly ask for constructive feedback.

You should be orchestrating this feedback from all angles.

Peers, people you lead, direct reports, and strategic outside mentors.

In corporate terms, you’re soliciting regular 360° reviews on yourself.

You want to humbly seek this out.

Second, have the humility to be open to change.

Why get feedback if you aren’t willing to change anything?

The entire point is to get make changes to become a better leader.

Third, seek out a mentor who can guide you and share their experience and insights.

There is nothing more transformative than a 1:1 mentorship relationship.

It’s so rewarding.

I’ve had many of these relationships; I have many now, and I can guarantee you I will continue to have mentors.

This is exactly why I recently launched a mentoring program.

If you’re interested in checking that out, you can find a link in the description.

There are just some things in leadership that need 1:1 mentoring to navigate.

Prideful leaders stunt their own growth and keep repeating the same mistakes and behaviors because they can’t see themselves submitting to learning from another person, particularly anyone “beneath” them. Mentorships are beneath them unless they’re the ones doing the mentoring.

Humble leaders, on the other hand, are constantly leveling up because they submit themselves to mentorship. They can learn from anyone and everyone.

That’s why I will never go without a mentor.

There’s always something to learn.

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STEP 6: SELFLESSNESS

As we near the end of our steps, you’ll start to notice a shift from input to output, from receiving to giving.

We’ve spent a lot of time developing you as a leader through input.

Learning, experience, growth, skills, etc.

But this step is all about developing your ability to give of yourself in order to invest in others.

Not to be self-driven, but others-driven.

We talk a lot in this leadership community about dying to ourselves for a greater good.

There are plenty of dictators, bosses, and people in authority out there who are driven by their own self-interest.

But that’s not leadership.

True leadership is selfless.

True leadership is sacrificial.

This step might be the most important one to understand.

Here are just a few ways this step plays out.

First, investing in people.

Leaders carve out time, resources, and energy to put towards investing in people.

Second, leaders encourage.

Third, they empower.

Leaders aren’t just concerned with self-development; they’re interested in helping others become the best version of themselves.

The best leaders build other leaders.

They do this by investing, encouraging, and empowering.

That’s how great leaders do great things.

But there’s one last step that we need to talk about.

It’s one that I don’t see often, but when I do, it’s always in the best of the best.

This last step may be the only way for you to leave a true, lasting legacy.

It might be one of the most powerful leadership principles, and yet it’s so often missed.

You ready for it?

STEP 7: LOYALTY

Stay loyal to your post.

Stay loyal to your people.

Stay loyal to the mission.

Not some weak, blind loyalty.

I’m talking about strong, principled loyalty.

A loyalty that fights for the well-being of the whole, protects unity, and maintains integrity, never giving up.

Have you ever considered that without loyalty, you’ll never have a reason to fight for something good? Something worth fighting for?

Without loyalty, you’ll quit as soon as something becomes unpleasant or challenging, and you’ll never experience how meaningful it is to go through hard things and come out the other end more resilient than before.

You’ll miss out on some of life’s most incredible experiences, relationships, and lasting rewards.

That’s what loyalty brings.

Without loyalty, there’s no legacy.

Unfortunately, we live in a selfish world that has seemingly lost its vision of true selfless loyalty.

Let me tell you something…

You’re going to have those moments in life when you’re tempted to abandon loyalty.

You might get bored and want to move on.

You might get frustrated and want to quit.

You might come face-to-face with a hard conflict that you know you should face, but it sounds easier to just walk away from it rather than to put in the hard work you know it’s going to take.

You might be exhausted and be tempted to throw in the towel.

I get it.

And you know what, most people might tell you things like, “Life’s too short to deal with that,” or “Be loyal to yourself,” or “Do what makes you happy.”

I’m not one of those people.

I say…

Hold the line.

Put in the work.

Die to yourself.

Choose loyalty.

Why?

Because loyalty helps you build something that nothing else can build: Legacy.

And I don’t know about you, but that’s what I want my life to be marked by.

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Well, I know these 7 steps are a lot to process.

If you’re itching to go even deeper, I encourage you to download that free leadership resource list.

It has resources in every category we discussed today.

As always, keep fighting the good fight, and I’ll see you again real soon!